Been a little while croc

Im sad. I miss my husband. I miss the normalcy of him. I miss being in the other room and hearing the shower on, knowing he's in it. I miss hearing him call me by my name, or honey, which I think he considers my second name such. I miss waking up and seeing him at night, especially if something scares me. He is my best-friend. There is truely no better person than him. His kindess and love follows him like a veil. His laughter his ripe and golden and warms my soul. He is the true essence and meaning of a blessing. God is my strength though, and God loves me even more than Chris, as hard as that is to fathom, even more so, god loves me more than I love Chris. Now that is quite an image. Deployments are something that I cannot explain. Other poeple compare there husbands traveling, for atmost a few months, or that there husbands "might as well be deployed" because they are always gone, or busy with other commitments. While well meaning, they are very far off base. I am struggling with the worry, becasue that won't change anything, or keep Chris anymore safe. I need to "rewire" my thinking and when I feel the pull of worry grabbing at my heels, pray. I need to be more productive in my though patterns. I need to above all, trust God in this. As Difficult as that may be, this time in my life, I cannot do this without God, he is my source, he holds OUR lives in his hands. In a way that gives me peace, and other ways scares me, becasue there are parts of me that just flat out want things "my way". DANG THAT FREE WILL! Sometimes I wish that God would just do things for me, but that is not love to posess. I will meorize, Ephesians 6:10...it is " Be Strong in the Lord, and in his mighty power." His mighty power. I have to understand that God is good, and his way is pure. God is good. I resesit God alot, I know it. I feel him pulling me and telling me to read the bible, he jsut wants to spend time with me. I don't know why i ressist. I don't want to, but then I do. I ahve the best intentions, really, but then they fall flat. Sometimes I would rather numb myself with t.v. and not think about what is going on in my life with chris gone, or I could stop being lazy, let the rubber meet the road, and let God do a MIGHTY work in me. Really though, I will not come out of this experince with just alot of "numb" time. If I must trial, I will gain.

lovey dovey

My Anniversary is tommorow. Its veterans day. I've been married for TWO years! I love being married!!! I love my husband so much. he's on the phone..brb. Okay, he has to have formation, do he had to go:( I just cannot believe that I get to be married to him. Really. Everyone can say "oh your just gettting started" or "you still honeymooning" but, the truth is we have already been through so much in such a short amount of time, and its wonderful. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. okay IM gonna go...love love love!

General talk

My dog yesterday evening, who historically speaking, when he is upset, gets the garbage, and drags it out all over the floor. The Garbage wasn't assessable, so somehow, he opened the cabinet, and for my viewing pleasure, had scattered cleaning supplies, and other goodies that he found. I am thankful he didn't get hurt(poisoning) but for crying out loud! The dog is crazy! On another note, I got to take another nap this afternoon! It is so dark and dreary out, and is starting to snow already! This is very upsetting. I hate the cold. I don't mind fall weather, but winter weather and me....do not get along. Abraham is ripping apart a newspaper at the moment. Al the while there is TONS of toys behind him. He just prefers the paper. Isn't that just great. I've been getting to talk to Chris everyday nearly! This is wonderful I miss him so much. This is my first deployment as a wife. My dad went through them often, but this is much different, and harder. He will be traveling to an undisclosed location in the Middle East, at a time I can't reveal do to safety of there mission. So basically I just keep my trap shut. It is our anniversary on Nov. 11th! I sent him some goodies and a card. He isn't getting much fruit ( and he like fruit ALLOT) so I sent him some canned Mandarin oranges...it was the best I could come up with. I did see at the grocery these all natural 100% fruit thingys that I will be sending him. Also, I sent him those brush your teeth anywhere thingys, some gum and other little things. Not the greatest anniversary present but I know he will appreciate it. There isn't allot I can give him.. not a tie, or something normal, because he doesn't need it. Well I must be off!

First bloggy blog

I feel like I am now officially apart of the "blogging" world. And I need something clever and witty to say, but clever and witty I am not. Opinionated yes. I am currently cooking dinner. Its a new recipe from Rachel Ray. "Tango Joes". Its not newly created, I am just making it for the first time. I am pretty excited about it. It has this stuff called Chimichurri in it. So we'll see how it goes. Apparently I'm a great cook, (according to my husband and family). So they all like when I cook. Its funny, because I used to NEVER cook, and swore to never touch a stove. My plan was to strike it rich and hire someone to do it. However, I am not rich, and even if I were, I would not have a cook, because its just lazy to have a cook, unless you're missing your hands or legs, then I would say it is acceptable. Okay, well I should vacuum my floor before I grow vegetation of all sorts from it.